Hotel Check In – SNL


>>>HERE WE ARE, MR. ADAMS.
WE FIGURED YOU WOULD SPENDS YOUR FIRST NIGHT SEASIDE AT
SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE NICER THAN A MOTEL 6.
>>YEAH, THIS IS — WOW, I CAN’T THANK YOU ENOUGH, NOT JUST FOR
THIS, BUT FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID TO GET ME OUT OF NORTH KOREA.
>>JUST DOING OUR JOB, AND THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO MAKE A
DOCUMENTARY, TRY PARIS, I HEAR THEY’RE A LITTLE MORE WELCOMING
TO AMERICANS WITH CAMERAS. BUT NOT MUCH.
NOW GET SOME REST, AND ENJOY THE HOTEL.
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT IS PICKING UP THE TAB.
WELCOME HOME.>>THANK YOU, SIR.
>>HELLO, WELCOME TO CHATSWORTH HOUSE, A MARRIOTT EXPERIENCE.
MAY I HAVE THE LAST NAME ON THE RESERVATION, PLEASE.
>>YEAH. ADAMS.>>AND CAN YOU SPELL THAT FOR
ME?>>YEAH, SURE.
A –>>FOUND IT.
I SEE YOUR ROOM AND INCIDENTALS HAVE BEEN TAKEN CARE OF.
AND SINCE YOUR FIRST TIME STAYING WITH US AT THE
CHATSWORTH HOUSE, A MARRIOTT EXPERIENCE, I WOULD LOVE TO TELL
YOU ABOUT SOME OF OUR AMENITIES SUCH AS THE STARGAZER LOUNGE.
>>YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN, I’M GOOD. I JUST WANT TO GET INTO MY ROOM,
GET INTO BED AND RELAX. IT’S BEEN A LONG DAY.
>>WONDERFUL, AND WHERE ARE YOU TRAVELING IN FROM?
>>NORTH KOREA.>>FANTASTIC.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT WHILE I
PULL UP YOUR ROOM.>>HEY, MAN, SORRY TO INTERRUPT,
COULD YOU SEND SOME TOWELS UP TO OUR ROOM, IT’S ROOM 904.
>>CAN YOU ALSO SEND UP A BOYFRIEND WHO DOESN’T FLIRT WITH
OTHER GIRLS TO ROOM 904.>>PERFECT, ANOTHER NIGHT OF
SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER.>>OKAY.
SO WE HAVE YOU IN ROOM 905, AND WHILE I PRINT YOUR KEY I WOULD
LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME OF OUR AMENITIES, SUCH AS THE
STARGAZER LOUNGE.>>AGAIN, I’M NOT REALLY
INTERESTED, MAN.>>OF COURSE, MORE TIME TO ENJOY
OUR SPA, INDULGENCE, WHICH WAS FEATURED IN LATITUDES, THAT’S
SOUTHWEST AIRLINES INFLIGHT MAGAZINE.
>>NO THANK YOU.>>ARE YOU SURE?
YOUR RESERVATION COMES WITH A COMPLIMENTARY SPA SERVICE, I
COULD BOOK YOU A HOT STONE MASSAGE FOR TOMORROW.
>>THAT ACTUALLY DOES SOUND NICE.
>>FANTASTIC, AND I SEE WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.
AND DONE. HOT STONE MASSAGE TOMORROW WITH
CARLY AT 5:15 A.M.>>OH, THAT’S TOO EARLY.
CANCEL THAT, PLEASE.>>MY APOLOGIES, BUT
CANCELLATIONS MUST BE MADE 24 HOURS IN ADVANCE.
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH SIR?
>>YEAH, MAN, I WANT TO CHECK INTO MY ROOM.
>>OF COURSE SIR, AND WHILE I FINISH YOUR RESERVATION, CAN I
OFFER YOU A COMPLIMENTARY GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE.
>>YES, PLEASE.>>EXCELLENT, THAT WILL BE
AVAILABLE IN THE STARGAZER LOUNGE.
>>OKAY, YOU KEEP PUSHING THE STARGAZER LOUNGE, I’M NOT GOING
THERE MAN.>>OF COURSE, HOWEVER YOU DIDN’T
HEAR IT FROM ME, BUT THE STARGAZER’S HEADLINE ACT IS THE
DANNY BAND, THEY WERE FEATURED IN LATITUDE MAGAZINE.
>>OKAY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE DANNY BAND
IS. I DON’T READ LATITUDED MAGAZINE.
I JUST WANT YOU TO SHOW ME TO MY ROOM, MAN.
>>OF COURSE, HERE IS A MAP OF THE PROPERTY.
WE ARE HERE ON THAT X THAT I HAVE JUST DRAWN FOR YOU.
THIS IS INDULGE, OUR SUPERSPA, WHAT WAS FEATURED IN LATITUDES
MAGAZINE.>>I DON’T CARE.
I DON’T CARE.>>THE ESCALATOR HERE WILL BRING
YOU TO THE MEZZANINE WHERE YOU WILL FIND THE STAR GAYSER
LOUNGE.>>NO.
MY ROOM. MY ROOM.
>>OF COURSE. THE LOBBY ELEVATOR, WHICH IS
RIGHT HERE, WILL TAKE YOU TO YOUR ROOM AS WELL AS THE BAR
ENTRANCE TO THE STARGAZER LOUNGE.
>>OH, MY GOD. I’M SO SORRY.
>>PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT SIR. HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
>>HERE’S YOUR KEECHL YOU ARE ROOM 905.
>>EXCELLENT. THANK YOU.
>>IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH WHILE YOU WAIT FOR
YOUR ROOM TO BE CLEANED? CHECK IN STARTS IN FOUR HOURS.
>>WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR FOUR HOURS.
>>MIGHT I SUGGEST THE STARGAZER LOUNGE.
>>STARGAZER LOUNGE. AND LISTEN TO THE DANNY BAND.
CAN’T WAIT.

100 thoughts on “Hotel Check In – SNL

  1. i work at a fairfield and im sorry but yes every damned keystroke is required its not our fault its whoever designed a system that requires a username and password every other keystroke.

  2. I know she was from a rival sketch comedy show… But I think it would be so awesome and unexpected to see Alex Bornstein as a guest host for one of the Saturday Night Live episodes…

    Especially if she gets to do her famous Miss Swan impersonation.

    The fact that she was from a rival sketch comedy show is what would make it so weirdly funny and awesome.

  3. This is funnier if you’ve worked as a Front Desk Agent at a 4 or 5 star hotel and had to use the Forbes standards of hospitality & service.

  4. This is satirically spot on. " uh yeah, Adams………………….click click clicker clack click…….. can you spell that for me please?…………….uh yeah, A. "

  5. That was funny with the hotel. But that black chick is so horrible. Just a super ugly super loud super buttass ugly super nasty black chick. She is the epitome of why black dudes would not want to be around anything like that. I dont get how she got in snl. She is ugly and loud and not funny. Just loud loud loud and ugly ugly buttass ugly. Not humorous. Just a very very angry black woman from the projects. Once again, she not funny. Just ugly… and loud.

  6. Reminds me of Cabo San Lucas. Starts right when you land at the airport and continues when checking in.

  7. The exterior shot is of the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego, a hotel which, if I recall correctly, costs about $700+ a night.

  8. They make the joke about him being next to the couple who screams. But in an actual hotel 904 and 905 would be across the hall not next to each other

  9. Everytime he says "staaar gazer lounge" I'm cracking up!!!! 😂 He sounds EXACTLY like those hotel or resort staff that try so hard to sell some kinda feature

  10. You mean the taxpayer is picking up the bill. The government doesn't do anything other than take, well I guess they do a lot of giving, just not to American taxpayers.

  11. Its the hotel del coronado…Ive stayed there. Its ridiculously over priced with its slanting hallways and smelly musty rooms. But since its old, an icon and on coronado island, they can charge crazy prices

  12. It's too bad this season has a 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. I mean I get it but there were little nuggets of gold in there. 🙁 At least it's going uphill again for SNL 🙂

  13. I was in a hotel last week. Airline misplaced my luggage, got a notification it was delivered to hotel. Go to pick it up.

    Hi, my luggage was supposed to be deliviered?

    Nope.

    Huh. OK.

    I proceeded to my room and called the airline. They said it was delivered at the front desk. Got back on the elevator, then to front desk.

    They said my luggage was here…

    Ah yes sir, here it is.

    Migraine

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