Do Dating Apps Ruin Men’s Self-Esteem?


Not enough people are swiping right on my
Tinder. Maybe if I take my shirt off… Welcome potential matches, I’m Julian here
for DNews. We talk a lot about the changing landscape
of online dating because it’s a new way for our species to interact and we’re curious
about what this means for our collective future. And because most of us haven’t given up
on the idea of love yet. One of the criticisms of online matchmaking
is that it can be shallow, especially if you use certain apps where you make a snap judgment
about someone based on their appearance and distance from you. You know, Tinder. But is it possible that shallow swiping could
negatively affect how we feel about our bodies and our self worth? To find out, researchers from the University
of North Texas surveyed 1,044 women and 273 men. Why the disparity? Because the study was primarily aimed at understanding
how women were affected, though the researchers did find some insight from the men. The survey asked the participants to rate
their own body image, psychological well being, and their perceived objectification by others. Lastly, they were also asked if they used
Tinder. About a tenth of those surveyed said they
did and those Tinder users generally reported lower levels of satisfaction with their faces
and bodies than did their non-swiping counterparts. Interestingly, only Tindering men reported
lower levels of self-esteem. Apparently the ladies of Tinder aren’t going
to let a negative body image ruin their sense of self-worth. This lead researchers to conclude that men
are just as affected by exploitation as women, if not more so. The findings were presented at the annual
convention of the American Psychology Association by Dr. Jessica Stübel, who coauthored the
study. Stübel suggested the correlation between
Tinder and body dissatisfaction could be a result of how the app works. Tinder sort of exists in the Upside Down,
you could call it a dating app or you could call it a game, and the chief strategy officer
of the company that owns Tinder describes it exactly that way. Heck, before I was on DNews I hosted a show
that talked about Tinder, and why the gamification of dating was a good thing because it encourages
people to get out there and try and win. But some players may have realized that in
order to win a game that’s so focused on looks, their best strategy is to be attractive. Even worse, as they’re swiping left through
stacks of photos, it may dawn on them that others are doing the same to their picture. In the dating game they have effectively become
an NPC, and nobody wants to be an NPC. That is one possible explanation, but of course
it’s not the only one. Stübel also speculated that people with lower
self esteem could gravitate towards Tinder as a means of validation. Of course, as with all surveys like this,
it’s impossible to tell if Tinder leads to low self esteem or if low self esteem leads
to Tinder. There have been a bevy of studies about how
couples that meet online fare, compared to people who used the old-fashioned method of
dumb luck to find their soulmate, – spoiler alert: married couples who met online seem
to do a little better. But not a lot of research has looked into
how online dating makes us feel about ourselves. You know the line, “More research is needed.” Incidentally putting that in your Tinder bio
is a guarantee swipe right… By me… you’ve been warned. If you like the game part of Tinder you could
take it a step farther and date a video game character. Seeker Stories covers what it’s like to
have a virtual relationship here. And if you haven’t found the perfect partner
who isn’t made of 1s and 0s, is it better to settle or be forever alone? Julia and Trace tell you what science has
to say in this episode. So would you risk feeling less satisfied with
your appearance if it meant striking a match? Wait is that why it’s called Tinder? I just got that!

100 thoughts on “Do Dating Apps Ruin Men’s Self-Esteem?

  1. Men are turned down way more on tinder than girls. Women only get turned down when they reject men. Shit I pick the fugly and the pretty girls and still get turned down. I get better luck walking around town saying stupid shit to women until one laughs and we hang out

  2. I'll tell you every time I use it, it definitely lowers my self esteem. Installed tinder after a while not using it got 2 matches and none of them wanna talk to me. I'm a good looking guy who always gets some attention from girls in public, but when I use tinder, not a damn thing. And if you're looking for love like I am, forget it.

  3. I didn't watch this because I can answer it myself…. YES, yes it is! and it ruins much more than that….. But fun fact, it isn't ruining the lives of the people you portray with your pictures… those people will have absolutely no problem on apps like these.

  4. It's more fun to use the eBay app on my phone to buy cool baseball cards :), The sports cards market today is huge with cards selling for thousands of dollars. If you bought LeBron James or Tom Brady rookie cards 15 years ago you can make a nice little chunk of change. That's way more fun than dating apps, even girls nowadays are collecting cards too, very fun!

  5. Double standards. Tinder let's women post near-nude pics and say whatever they want. Tinder deletes men for speaking the truth about the hypocrisy of this. 90% of the women go for the the top 10% of men. Tinder is 100% for empowering women and feminism.

  6. self esteem comes from within it dosent matter what people think of you you´ve got to hold yourself in high regard what really matters is what you think of yourself

  7. Dating sites ruins men or women self esstem.
    And besides men on dating sites look for casual or short term hookup porn shit.
    Why go on dating site to waste time with narrastic players, womanizers they hang out on dating site. Dating sites are not free you have to pay the commercials lie to people.

  8. Don't you just love it when someone "cites" the study in the bio but it's just a link to an article and not the actual study. smh

  9. Tinder is the most toxic dating app I've been on. I HATE this damn app. But it's only free one that gives me more than 1 like, so it'll have to do. Moral of it is, Girls are on it to boost self esteem and self worth. Guys are on it to have their self esteem destroyed.

  10. Just leave the western world and go to estern europeean countries or other conservative countries, women end up with pets in the West anyway.

  11. Dating apps do ruin self esteem, love is a farce, and only the beautiful are allowed to be happy in this shit world.
    I’m speaking from experience.

  12. My low self esteem got so low that my confidence sky rocketed because what can i lose I lost the facial genetic lottery

  13. You lost me at interact. Women do not interact on dating websites. If your a good decent guy, dating websites will not work for you.

  14. Bottom line. Guys on dating apps are seen as a dime a dozen. So if you are a guy you need to accept the women willing to match with you will be less attractive than you usually would meet else where.

  15. Woman don't get insecure about their body because they know so many ugly guys and even hot guys will still want them because a majority of guys boost their egos because their little desperate bitches that give them so much attention. Go to the middle east, those girls with meat on their bone won't even be looked at lol, trust me on this

  16. I had made tons of progress with self confidence and sociability. Then I was naive enough to try tinder and it has been tearing down all of that progress. Save yourself…. Delete this app

  17. if youre average looking you shouldn't be trying to spread your genes and reproduce… that includes average height and average looks. anything under 6ft-6'1. even 6ft is starting to look stupid now

  18. Women are so stupid. Just because a man has a different face or isn't good looking, it DOESN'T mean he's not worth knowing or dating. Yet 99.9% of women reject guys on dating sites based on the man's looks, which is the answer to why the same women are on there every day for years. They're rejecting the very men who are their perfects matches. but these women are just too stupid.

  19. When you drop your ego and expectations of how a female should react to you it helps the self esteem stay solid. I have already accepted I'm a great guy and most women live in an unrealistic "Fantasy Land." So I'm never disappointed with that mindset.
    Life is great without Women but if I add some to my life then so be it.

  20. I never had luck on Tinder. Never even got one convo going and only 2 likes. Women make it clear they wanna avoid me. Wish I knew why.

  21. I felt I had some value until I tried dating sites. Five years and 40 dates later the message is clear…you're ugly and worthless. Because of those cunts I'm now considering silicone sex dolls. Lucky me

  22. Online dating is a piece of shit. I really found out there's a lot of real morons out there. One word answers ghosting women that stand men up because theyve been hurt in the past. Women out there leading men on gold digging and dudes who makw fake profiles to fish for personal info and all the scam messages.

  23. Many males just can’t be bothered with women . There’s other better things to do in life . Also many males have closed their wallets for good, no more taking women out to dinners.

    Women can keep looking for their billionaire , model prince. Also we are fed up with the available garbage.

  24. Dating websites and apps are a total sasusage fest. Its 95% dudes. The woman can pick the tip top 1% of men. Ladies dont want average dudes. Hypergamy wont let them settle

  25. They need a dating app for the average Joe. Strip it of all the female advantages. Maybe call it, datewithinyourownleague. The way it could work is let women rate men on a scale of 1 to 10, and let men date women on a scale of 1 to 10. Since women tend to rate the average man below average, we may need some math to correct for this illogical rating. Once this is in place, a woman is only able to see men within her own league. She is not told anything about their income status. If she doesn't participate by actively getting to know everyone, her account is shut off. That or her ad disappears until she responds to her inbox limit of 10. If she lets her inbox fill without responding, then her ad disappears. Stuff like that. Oh.. and the best part…if she tries to fake responses, you can report her response as "inappropriate".

  26. Women are shallow as hell !! It's always about what you look like. If you don't look perfect enough for the snobby chick then forget it. Chicks are always looking for something better.

  27. unfortunately in the meeting app, if you're not objectively beautiful, nobody will look at you, but even in real life, not being good-looking people treat you like a lot of garbage.

  28. a ruin is still some shambles of a building. Dating apps absolutely obliterate self-esteem 😂 when there is nothing left.

  29. I'll be honest I quit online dating 25 days ago and I started having real interaction with real people and it made me felt better about myself I say forget this new age of online dating the old school way of meeting people is the best way.

  30. I actually sent a message to a fat ugly chick just to see if they were as stuck up and entitled as the half decent looking ones , I said hello……… No lie, she replied back "no thank you"

  31. I just swipe right on everything and just say "sorry, i clicked the button below, i wasnt really meaning to like you" whenever a match isnt the match im looking for, then again i tend to go and delete every match after a while when the girl in question sounds to much like me, like she is the literal incarnation of what i do and how i am, now i did this to a girl who lived in the same city, she was literally me, but then female, she felt like we had a spark going on hardcore! But i didnt feel that way, look im kinda aggressive with the idea of dating, you like someone, talk a bit and then eventually meet up or not, she kept me on the hook. Baiting my every reaction to whatever she said (off tinder, cuz i allready unmatched, but on facebook..
    She literally looked me up, which i do with people that live close to me, but never send them a message..) she tried out sexual advantages ( and as a single male i obviously went in on that) to just say " well im going to bed, my knee hurts like crazy and i an insane headache" after that we decided to walk her dog in the weekend where i allready said to myself "shes gonna cancel that"and hell yeah! Thr next day i got a message she had to out for food with coworkers! (with screenshots that ment jackshit to me) and asked me "what about friday? What would you like to do?" and i just had it and explained im not going to try and meet her just because i pulled up ideas and she said yes but then had something diffrent to do, she didnt understand why i would do something radical as that but i have to say im aware im unlikeable, for real! I am not a nice person to hang out with, and if i see someone respond to stuff the same way as i would do + cancelling dates id generally say its better to move on.

    She was pissed but atleast i felt bettet than when i talked to her.

  32. According to a studies done by OK cupid and tinder a average man is considered by women to be a 2 in attractiveness. This highly unrealistic mindset that women have is Causing problems for our culture, women in relationships almost always think they are dating someone way below them. I am more healthy than most men and i have not gotten a single non bot match on online dating I have had the apps for 6 months.

  33. I always consider those sites people as the same entity who went on Every date just wearing the appearance of databased peoples every time. Select a 4/10 and suprize the entity has the attitude of a 10/10 because it was an entity in a mask you agreed on all along. And that's why I'll never trust online sites ever again.

  34. I currently have 40 matches on tinder, but it's all pointless because they never reply anyway, so I wait for them to make the first move, if they actually like me they would but why would they like someone from a couple random pictures. Sad thing is I'm pretty good looking, have a good job and nice car but still no luck. If I try talk to women in person they just reject me, it seems they only interested if you try it on an app instead of in person these days, nobody has time to talk to a stranger in the supermarket.

  35. Shit I’m not here to jerk myself. But I’m pretty good lookin I ain’t amazing but I barely get any type of swipes. Ik the ugliest of girls who have 99+ swipes. Tinder is an app specified for girls don’t ever doubt yourself my kings!

  36. Us Men need to just act like they did in the 1940’s (around then) and get tough. Play hard to get. Personality only matters if you act cynical and bitter, talk down to these women and make them feel ashamed for being so selective, Lila a piece of shit Ivy League college r something

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  38. If I went out to bars I could get rejected by 2-5 women in a whole night. Now I can get rejected by hundreds in an hour. Thanks tinder! Progress!

  39. Americunts are going gay because feminism has destroyed everything including dating. It's funny to see western culture destroying from within

    Eventually Muslims will take over your shithole countries.

  40. You know what is really sad?Most guys can be so ugly, broke, without any manners and super dumb and still not looking for anything serious, because maybe they don't have emotions and also need to have sex just like a normal person needs to pee and shit(and no money for hookers?)…and still they must think they are the last coca cola in the desert, I really think it is a huge favour for them to officialize a relationship. So more and more women are giving up on guys, no wonder, they make their own money and can easily live without the fast, awkward lame sex this guys end up up labeling themselves as the only utility (they think they can use women just for sex when in fact, they are the ones who actually end up labelling themselves as an object with limited utility)…so why would women even need men?Most women would rather, and believe me, stay single forever than be with an ugly guy, because women are in general more beautiful than men, no way around this, so if you are ugly and/or short you should develop more qualities like being nice, smart and well mannered instead of mastering how to be a jerk. Online dating might boost a women's self esteem however and pretty sure it puts down a man's self esteem in general, specially if they are straight, because on gay apps such as grinder anything goes, it is like a big big open air butcher giving away free meat…but then again…it's KARMA, what goes around comes back around. Of course there are some solid, respectful and lovely relationships formed through dating apps too and I know some cases, but talking in general…what you are is what you get.

  41. I've finally realised that people on these apps just aren't sincere or realistic, I had 30+ matches on bumble but after a ton of failed convos after unmatching boring women I put ' trying to find interesting convo on here is like communication with an alien race a million light years away… Because I send a message and get a reply next year 🤣' in my bio and im not joking that 30+ dropped to fuckin 5 bro people are so flaky and childish and can't even take a fuckin small joke, that shows me that alot of them are undateable.

  42. Men are designed to chase, those men that wouldn't usually have the courage can enter the game.

    Unfortunately it massively inflated women's egos over the past few years. I've had mothers of 4 treat me like I need to kiss their butts. Anyone 7 or 8 seems to stay on the sites as the male 10's inflate their egos, date and shag them but won't give them commitment. I've dated average women inundated by messages when in real life they'd get next to no attention.

    It's skewered life.

  43. This crap is toxic. I delved into online dating when I was younger. It was creepy, emotionally draining, and ineffective. May work for a few. I think it's best for us to meet face to face and communicate normally. It worked for our parents and forefathers. The evil elites implementing this are trying to divide and conquer us. They want to put a divide up between the sexes. Gotta hand it to them it does work.

  44. It's so easy to get hurt on these dating sites be cause most time I message a girl they read it but don't respond, they don't know what they had til it was gone.

  45. It does quite a bit more than that. It reveals women to be shallow, gold-digging creatures who are more than happy to share the top 10% of men among themselves whilst using their other 'matches' as a means to titillate their ego.

    It basically renders the great majority of men as easily-improved-upon commodities, a modern type of livestock, if you will.

    Don't take it up with me though, I'm basically just regurgitating what the latest studies showed.

  46. Isn’t that they ruin self esteem or they give women a false sense of self confidence. One women on these sites are less then men this means they get to go window shopping. See God gives everyone something nice and things not so nice. She might have a smoking body and homely face, huge boobs and pretty but as big as a house, great butt but no boobs. Pretty face but nothing else. Guys are the kings of compartmentalism. They pick out a part and chase it. Well we’re finding out women aren’t much different, fit, tall, muscular rules especially if there is coinage. You learn to as a guy that if your 5’8” chase 5’1” girls. The all mighty dollar rules

  47. If you are a man and do not have the looks, status, or resources women look for it’s best to stay away from all dating apps

  48. I was on a dating app and never got ANY messages. I started to think Does everyone think Im a catfish? or when I would get messages I would get this ALOT " Your so beautiful why are you single?" First I was on Match and realized I was on the wrong site. EVERYONE on there was in their 30's looking to get married and have kids. Im 48 and can't have kids anymore. Then I went to POF and guys on there ONLY wanted sex. So I deleted my profile on there also. Im just gonna be alone. Im going to wait for someone to approach me on the street or wait for god to drop my husband out of the sky.

  49. We all are very hypocritical, we complain about others being shallow and looking just after muscular athletic bodies. But at the same time we are looking for exactly this kind of people!!!

  50. You know it's bad when you can't match with a 50+ year old woman that is obsessed, where she can't even wash her legs, due to the fat in her legs rolling over. Yeah shes having the time of her life, cause she hooked up with my good looking friend over 6 feet tall. And she has told him, he's not the only one shes meeting and hooking up with., she has a roster of men. How does that not have a psychological effect, knowing she just exists and gets all of that human touch. Meanwhile I need to hit endless hours at the gym and Am a 7 in looks and a healthy weight. Also these apps haven't done a darn thing to help out men and the imbalances that exists .

  51. Tinder has caused women to feel validated. This has caused women to no longer feel the need to reach out to men in real life because they get the validation they thrive off through the app and can get a date with a click on their phone.
    What an age to live in as a man.
    To paint a picture; Women browse through their catalogue and order their selfesteem + their dates whenever they feel like it. Like it or not, women are in complete control of the dating game these days. There's nothing you can do as a man. Even as a handsome man, they see you and think ; Hmm, i can talk to him or i can just browse through my app at home and whenever i feel like it, i'll initiate the contact. Hell, it could be the same guy, just on their turf.

  52. Haven't had a dating app in years, but I prefer apps that allow you to message whoever you want, instead of matching based on pictures only. That seems too shallow

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